Have you ever said to yourself, “God can’t know what I’m going through, because if He did, He wouldn’t allow it. So He must not be there.” Ever been there? We are all dealing with suffering of some kind. Depression, physical health, anxiety, addiction, you name it. Many are suffering from fear, loneliness or uncertainty during the pandemic. Every one of us is suffering in some way at any given time.
Eighteen months ago, in November of 2018, I had the pleasure and honor of meeting a man named Michael Moyles at a breakfast my husband and I attended for a ministry we support. Michael was wearing some kind of contraption on his shaved head that looked like something that Doc from Back To The Future would put on your head to read your mind. Nodes were everywhere. Being the extrovert that I am, of course I had to walk over to him and ask him (knowing it was probably for medical purposes) what the deal was with that thing on his head (I was a little more discreet than that in my wording of the question). Michael had brain cancer and this mechanism was to help that in some way. Over breakfast I engaged in conversation with Michael about who he was, and what he had done in his life. I was astounded by what he told me. This was no common man. Michael was a retired Air force colonel of 25 years, with two masters degrees in theology and was working on a doctorate, focusing on apologetics. He was a marathon runner, a triathlete, and was fighting cancer to boot.
Moyles knew something about suffering. He had survived brain cancer four times, and was now experiencing his fifth occurrence. The cancer had just returned in October 2018—one month before we met. He had been fighting it for nineteen years. Michael was diagnosed almost 21 years ago on Dec. 9, 1999, just after his first brain surgery. He had been the picture of health. He didn’t drink or smoke. He exercised 6 days a week, was a division one college athlete, had no history of cancer in the family, putting him in the lowest risk group on the planet for this disease. He was 27 years old. His first question was how long? Five years. Maybe six with aggressive treatment. That diagnosis turned into three brain surgeries and multiple rounds of chemo and radiation. He ran marathons in between rounds of chemo. He’d stop his run, get sick, and finish the race. He began to equate running with beating cancer. If he didn’t run that day, then cancer had won that round and kept him inside that day. He vowed to never let cancer win. No excuses.
Why did Michael get cancer the 5th time? What was he supposed to learn in this 5th occurrence that he didn’t learn before. There was this law of diminishing returns where his suffering was increasing but his ministry wasn’t increasing proportionately. His testimony wasn’t that much powerful, but the suffering was much greater. Why did he have to go through this again? As he struggled with this question, he started to lose the big picture of why he was going through this a fifth time. Michael knew God had a purpose, although dying would have been easier.
As Christians we don’t want to ask the why question because there are no good answers that will satisfy us in the short term. When Job asked the why question, God said, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?!” This rebuke goes on for five chapters as Job questions God’s goodness, and his sovereignty. God forbid we ever make the same mistake. But we struggle with the why question. Is this because of some sin I committed? It this some retaliation?
Moyles reassures us that, “There is no suffering you will ever go through that was not felt by Jesus when he was being beaten and crucified. There is no grief you will ever feel that is greater than the grief that he felt when he was momentarily abandoned on the cross. There is no burden you will ever bare that is greater than the burden of every sin that has been or will be committed. Jesus knew suffering.” So did Paul and Job. All three are great examples of suffering.
I watched a video of Michael preaching in church on a Sunday. Here are some things that Michael knew about suffering that I’d like to share with you.
- Trials make us more Christ-like, which will mean rewards for us on the day of judgment. Christ suffered more than any of us ever will. We are called to conform to Christ-likeness, and because He suffered, we must suffer too. It’s part of becoming Christ like.
- God’s affliction may remove a cause for boasting. Often times God will allow suffering into our lives to knock out the props in or lives that we rely on, so that we will rely on Him.. Michael Moyles had been through a lot. He could have claimed, “I ran that marathon, I walked those 17 miles (after an injury during a race), I went through 29 rounds of chemo, I beat cancer 5 times!” But just as God rebuked Job, he says to Michael, “No you didn’t!! Michael you haven’t made your heart beat one time! You haven’t done squat!”
- Our suffering isn’t always about us. When one is suffering, people are watching. Suffering can have a tremendous impact on the non-Christian who will notice how the Christian responds to affliction. When they see the reaction to suffering by the Christian, they know there’s something different, almost supernatural about this person. So suffering can lead to a ministry—putting us in a position to help others in the future who are suffering in the same way we did.
- Suffering demonstrates to Satan that it is possible to love God even though one is not prospering. This is what happened to Job. When God allowed Satan to strip away everything that mattered to Job including his family, Job still praised God in the end. God was able to show Satan that love for God can be genuine, thereby removing Satan’s excuse that Job only loved God because God gave him everything.
Michael Moyles passed away two weeks ago. I was heartbroken to hear this. Now Michael is in the presence of our Lord. He has won the race. Well done Michael. Here was a guy who suffered tremendously, and persevered beyond what most of us would in the face of a death sentence. He knew there were reasons for his suffering. It didn’t make the suffering easier, but it helped him understand why it was happening so that he could face his future with strength and courage. Michael also had a robust view of Heaven. Knowing where you’re going makes all the difference. I will talk about that in my next blog post.
Whatever you are suffering with today, know that God is with you, and that there is a reason for it. On the surface, the trial we are going through may look like a lack of love, and our lives can seem like the back side of a needlepoint. We see the messy side with yarn going in all directions. But God sees the finished, and beautiful side with everything complete, and in order where it is supposed to be. He is there, He knows our plight, and He cares. This is where we walk by faith, and not by sight. This is where we stand at the foot of the cross and say, “Lord, I don’t understand what you’re doing here but I believe in you and I’m going to trust you.”
How do we find peace in a pandemic? In Jesus. Sometimes in the darkest trials of our lives is when we see the glory of God the most.
Photo cred to Sun Prairie United Methodist Church, Wi.